This Years Love
by Heartaches and Cheap Wine
Summary: Title says it all really. What happens when you have one chance to Do one thing but time slips away?


**Disclaimer:** I own Nothing you recognise. Songs belong to Thier respective owners and The Boys belong to Kripke

**Warning:** Mentions of Self harm and Character Death

Lady Of Arabia Dont Read! I dont want you upset.

**A/N**; Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed my other fics! It would be nice if you could do it agian.

Please?

Also, the things under the Chapter Titles arent mine either, but they do give you a kind of insight of the end.

So I'll be quiet and let you read, =

* * *

This Years Love.

Some people laugh, some people cry

Some people live, some people die  
Some people run, right into the fire  
Some people hide, their every desire

If you wanna fight, I'll stand right beside you  
I wont let you fall, I'll be right behind you  
To pick up the pieces you leave behind.

This Years Love.

When You Get That Call You're Heart Stops.

"**You've got to give her some faith,  
Hold her tight, a little tenderness."**

Sam and Dean sat in the Impala as they made the journey to Bobby's place. He had called said it was an emergency and he needed their help. They knew he would never ask them for help unless it was an absolute emergency.

They couldn't refuse him, not after everything he'd done for them. "what do you think's up?" Sam asked as he spotted the entrance to the scrap yard.

"I dunno but it sounds important." Dean shrugged as he pulled up in front of the house. Dean took the keys out of the ignition and he and Sam walked up to the door and knocked. Bobby answered looking anxious and tired. He signalled them to come in and walked away.

"You ok Bobby?" Dean asked as concern wash over his face. Sam was first to spot him. His eyes widened and knew this couldn't be good. He swallowed hard but didn't say anything. Dean glanced over and saw him next.

He hoped no-one heard the sharp intake of breath at the sight of him. What the hell was he doing here? He should be………Dean's mind went into over-drive. Sam was first to speak however.

"Hey Eddie. What you doing here then?" he raised an eyebrow at the man leaning against the desk. Eddie Singer.

He was Bobby's son and was a year older then Dean although he looked about ten years older. His hair was greying and his eyes didn't have the same hypnotic colour as before. He had put on weight Sam noticed and he sure as hell had picked up scars. Eddie smiled at him.

"guessing years at school brought out your curious side." he said coldly. Dean was restless he could stand Eddie or small talk.

"where is she?" he asked evenly. Eddie raised his eyes to Dean's in a long, hard stare and smiled menacingly.

"we don't know Dean. that's why I called you" Bobby's voice was thick with emotion. Sam looked at him.

"where did you last see her then?" Sam as ked and Bobby looked at Eddie and Eddie huffed. Dean went to step forward but Sam spoke. "Eddie tell us" he shot his brother a glare

"Denver." Eddie spat through gritted teeth.

"When?" Dean barked.

"About four months ago." Eddie whispered and Dean saw red.

"FOUR MONTHS!! FOUR FREAKING MONTHS AND NOW YOU DECIDE TO SAY?!" he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yeah we had a fight she left but she called and said not to look for her she'd been checking in with dad as usual one a week until she didn't two weeks ago." he lent against the desk again.

"where was she last do you know?" Sam asked Bobby softly. He silently shook his head.

"ok now what." Dean sighed as he lent against the door frame.

"we call in help" Sam looked at Dean then Bobby. "I'll give her a call."

Sam hung up the 'phone. "she'll be here as soon as she can. In the mean time was have to get what we know together" Sam was being logical. Dean raised his eyes from the knife he was sharpening. He always did that when he was nervous or scared Sam had noticed.

"we don't know anything 'cept she was in Denver over four months ago." His usual cocky grin was intact but the fear was in his eyes. Bobby looked up and Smiled.

"she was in Colorado three weeks ago." Sam grinned and Dean put the knife down.

"what was she hunting and how do you know?" he looked intently at Bobby.

"she was hunting a Zombie. She called to ask for help on how to kill it." he sighed and Dean smiled.

"of course if she never ran off I would have been able to tell her" Eddie spat angrily. Dean practically growled at him.

"well she did now we have to Deal!" Sam shot Eddie a look whilst getting up out of the chair. The door flew open and Dean swallowed.

"where is she Bobby? Where's our little girl?" the voice demanded. Ellen Harvelle. Dean looked at her. Her Daughter Jo sulked in the doorway. Bobby looked at her. Eddie glared at her. And Ellen glared back. "I know you don't like her much. But she's your sister for Gods sake!" she walked over to him.

"half sister" Jo corrected from the Doorway. Eddie smiled at the Blonde's comment and Ellen glared at him then over her shoulder.

"what?" Jo asked innocently.

"She's Your half sister too Joanna Beth. Older mite I add" Ellen looked at Jo.

"don't call her that! She was your mistake mum! Not ours! Just because you couldn't keep you're skirt down and he couldn't keep his pants up!" Jo looked at her mum and Ellen swallowed.

"She wasn't a mistake" Ellen looked straight at Jo. Jo shook her head. Sam and Dean exchanged looks and Dean coughed. The duelling mother and daughter turned and Jo's face lit up although she tried to conceal it.

"Did she call you at any point?" Dean asked looking at Ellen. Ellen shook her head and Dean looked at Jo who looked away. "when did she call Jo?" he asked sternly. Jo continued looking at the cracked wall above Dean's head. "When did she call?" his voice was harsh and hurtful.

"two days ago. She was in Milestone. She said I was to phone Bobby to tell him where she was and she needed his help with something. I thought she was bluffing she had Eddie after all." Jo looked from Sam to Dean to Ellen and Eddie. Bobby walked around and picked up the keys to his truck. Dean grabbed his jacket and he and Sam left quickly.

"Bobby have you tried calling her?" Sam asked as the made their way to the truck.

"I don't have a number for her. She always called from a pay phone." Eddie took out his cell and pressed call. His hands began to shake as she answered. Her breath was coming in sharp gasps.

"Lex?" his voice was sharp. "ALEX!" he yelled down the phone "talk to me. Where are you?" Dean was walking over to him.

"dad's" her voice croaked and Eddie realised Dean wasn't walking to him when he broke into a run. He slowly turned around and Saw her.

Alexis Singer-Harvelle. Her short auburn hair was matted with blood. One of her massive green eyes were swollen closed. Her slim figure was pooled with blood as was her full lips.

Dean gathered her in his arms and she let go of the car door, falling into his embrace. He pushed the fringe out of her face. "De- what are you…?"she began to cough, pain etched across her face.

"looking for you Lexie" he smiled.

"dad, mum" she looked confused all the while her breathing was becoming rapid.

She was hyperventilating. Dean picked her up and carried her over to the Impala. Ellen Got in the back and Dean carefully place Alexis in with her. Bobby got in the front and Dean got in to drive.

He glanced at her in the backseat with Ellen stroking her hair. She looked so weak, pale. Not the strong young woman who he had grown close to. She was a hunter. She was stronger than him. Bobby caught the fear in Dean's eyes and looked into the mirror. What the hell could do this to his baby? She was only 26. Alexis raised the hand her mother wasn't holding and took her fathers.

"N…Not go…going…any…anywhere" she tried to reassure, but her breathing had become shallow and Dean slammed his foot down. He wasn't loosing her. He had lost his Dad. Nearly lost Sammy. No way. Her eyes slipped closed and Ellen let out a sob……

Fancy tripping down Memory lane?

"To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anaesthesia."

The three hours she was in surgery was the longest of Dean's life. He wasn't supposed to feel like this. Whatever 'this' was. He jumped up every time the door opened only to be disappointed.

Ellen paced and Bobby sighed. Bobby paced and Ellen sighed. The doctor finally arrived and Dean looked up. "you're daughter is in a stable condition but she did obtain some major internal injuries. She has lost a lot of blood. It's a miracle she lasted as long as she did, she must be made of strong stuff" the doctor smiled and Ellen returned it.

"Can we see her?" Dean was anxious.

"of course you can but one at a time please." the three nodded. Dean smiled and sat down. Bobby looked at him and smiled before joining him. Ellen smiled a them and walked out the door to find her daughter.

Ellen gasped as she entered the room. Her little girl was laying hooked up to all sorts of machines and she let a tear fall. "I'm ok mum" she smiled softly from the bed. Ellen walked over and took her hand.

"you scared us sweetie" Ellen's usually harsh voice was unusually soft. Alexis smiled as Ellen took her hand. "what happened?" Ellen made sure to keep her voice gentle. Alexis looked at her and blinked.

"the hunt went south." she said evenly. Ellen knew it was a lie. The way she said it was to cool. But she let it go, if Alexis wanted to talk then she would. In her own time. She never was one for opening up. Ellen lent against the bed.

"so what damage has been done?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"erm, I have six broken ribs, a punctured lung, dislocated hip and shoulder as well as some internal and external wounds but I'll be ok." she finished with a smile. Ellen stroked her cheek and sighed.

"don't you be doing that again you hear me?" she warned softly but meaning every word.

"ok" she silently agreed.

"where's dad and Dean?" she looked around the room.

"one at a time sweetheart" Ellen soothed.

"what's Dean doing here anyway?" Alex shifted position.

"you're dad called him, they were going looking for you" Ellen squeezed her hand softly. "I'll go and get you're father." Ellen got up and walked to the door.

"Mum?" Alexis voice was thick.

"yeah?" Ellen turned around tears in her eyes. "I love you." she swallowed.

"You too Alex" Ellen nodded then shut the door.

It was almost an hour later Dean managed to get in to see her. He slowly opened the door making sure he had his cocky smile in place before he looked up. She smiled and exhaled, surprised by his nervousness but intrigued and glad it was him. "Hey Dean." she sat up.

"Hey Lexie." Dean teased keeping the mood light. She frowned at him then laughed lightly clutching her ribs. He winced as she did and She smiled.

"I don't have any deadly disease you can come sit" she indicated the chair beside the bed and Dean laughed.

"so?" he looked her up and down "you sure know how to pick a hunt Alex" he sat down.

"Yeah well" she grinned "you Winchesters sure know how to make deals don't you" all fun and lightness in her eyes were replaced with anger and fear. Dean looked away. "how long'd you get then?" she cocked her head to the side and sucked in her bottom lip.

" One year." he said almost silently. Alexis exhaled so sharply she began to choke. Dean got up and got her some water.

"A year!" she yelled "One year! Twelve months? Fifty two weeks?! Three hundred sixty five days?!" her voice was high pitched and Dean looked up at her. Tears shone in his eyes and she exhaled and lay back.

"he's my brother what was I supposed to do?" his voice cracked and she took his hand.

"we'll get a way out of this I promise ok?" she looked him directly in the eye and smiled. He nodded and she winked at him.

Just like old times. She was the only person Dean could open up to and not be judged. She would let him cry or rage on about his dad and then not mention it again. She winked at him again just as her parents came back into the room. Followed by a doctor. Alexis looked up and sighed as the doctor walked over to her. "so you want blood or what?" she looked at him.

"I want to check you over Miss singer" she looked at him

"I want to check myself out," she smirked an Ellen's mouth fell open.

"no way young lady!" she barked and Alex looked at her.

"lets check you over first huh?" The doctor smiled and Alex glared at him. Half an hour of arguing later Alexis was given the it's-okay-to-check-yourself-out-but-we-wouldn't-advise-it speech and she looked at her dad with the big green puppy dog eyes.

Ellen huffed and made her way to the car to get her daughters things knowing full well Bobby wouldn't be able to say no.

A little over two hours later and Alexis was sitting on her bed in the Singer household. She had refused to go to the Roadhouse. Less temptation to go hunting if she wasn't surrounded by hunters. Ellen had vowed to stay but Eddie and Jo had already left.

Sam had decided that he would spend the first two hours with her then Dean could then Ellen then Bobby. They had this system in place in case she passed out.

There was no guarantee that she would be ok because of the internal injuries but her stubbornness always won the argument.

Sam took up a tray with sandwiches and water for them to share. He smiled when he walked into the room to be greeted with the familiar tune of The Smurfs. He laughed when he saw her curled up in one of her massive hoodies and joggers watching the cartoon.

She looked up at him. "You have a wicked laugh" she shook her head and moved so he could sit comfortably whilst the tray sat between them.

"so collage-boy, haven't seen you in ages! I'm sorry about Jess and you're dad must be tough huh?" She gently placed her hand over his. She knew the Winchesters. She had grown up with them.

Two years younger than Dean, two years older than Sam. She could read Dean like a book and took pleasure in that. But with Sam it was different. they were close and it hadn't taken her long to win him over. She was the mother figure that would constantly fix his hair and his collar. Help him with the his homework when Dean would tease.

He was stronger than his brother but Dean was better at keeping things together. Sam smiled and looked into her eyes. "I know about Dean too." she tilted her head in a way that made her look like she was ten years old again.

"we're gonna get him out of this Sammy I mean it." she reassured him as soon as she saw the flicker of hurt in his eyes. Like Dean, Alexis had always looked out for Sam.

Always wanted the best. Never let him down. Sam smiled at the thought. He wasn't alone in this fight. Dean would dig his heels in, sure, but with Alexis pulling and Sam pushing Dean wasn't going anywhere soon.

Looking For A piece of hay in a needle stack.

"Now comes the mystery."

Two weeks had passed and Alexis was strong enough to move about. Dean was outside touching up the Impala. Ellen had long gone back to the road house and Sam was helping Bobby.

Alexis strode out and watched Dean as he ran the cloth back and forth across the bonnet of the car. She laughed as she noticed that he kept missing a spot and he turned around. "what do you find so funny?" he asked as she made her way down the steps and over to the car.

"Gimme the damned cloth." she smirked at him and he kinked an eyebrow. She slipped her jacket off and handed it to him before snatching the cloth. She made her way over to the other side of the car and ran the cloth over the spot that he had missed. He threw her jacket in the back seat and picked up the sponge.

"Care to help?" he asked, Alex simply grinned and tucked the cloth in her back pocket making her way over to get the other sponge from the bucket. "now be gentle" he said as she wrung out the sponge.

"You should know me better than that Dean. I always am!" he laughed and walked around to the front of the car as she reached up to clean the roof. Her tight, blue tank top rode up slightly and he spotted her tattoo. He smiled at it. She had gotten it done years ago.

It's lilac lines stood out on her tanned skin and as she moved the tattoo came to life. The wings of the butterfly seemed to move on her skin as she lathered up the car. Dean watched as she tiptoed to reach the other side.

She wasn't short but she wasn't that tall either. He laughed gently as she placed her feet on the ground again and swore at the wet patch on her top.

She glared at Dean who bit down on his lower lip to keep him from laughing. Her face creased into a smile and they both laughed.

Ten minutes later and the Impala was a mass of foam and smelled like washing up liquid. Alexis bit on her lip, with a flirty gleam in her eyes and glanced at the hose. Dean in a white t-shirt huh? She laughed and picked up her weapon of choice.

Turning the tap she aimed in his direction. He glanced up and went to move but he was too late the cold water left him breathless and she laughed. He moved for the bucket and she hid behind the Impala.

"Come on Lexie fairs fair!" he called playfully, and walked around the car only to find a puddle of where she had been. He gasped she let the cold water hit him again and he threw the bucket over her. She laughed and dropped the hose. Dean picked it up and soaked her then went back to the Impala. She pushed her soaking fringe out of her eyes and sighed.

" I'm gonna go get changed" she winked at him and walked back into the house.

"You're cell went when you were in the shower." Sam said and tossed her the phone. "who was it?" she tilted her head.

"it said unknown so I left it" he shrugged and went back to the laptop.

"thanks" Alex smiled and walked back up stairs to her room. She sat on the bed and flipped the cell open. She hoped it was who she thought it was. She hit the call button. The ringing had just started when there was a voice at the end of the line.

"It's me……… you called?"

52 states, 45 weeks…….

"Never say goodbye, say farewell."

It was just after midnight. Bobby had long gone to bed. Sam had just said goodnight. Hell only knew where Dean was. Alexis slipped the bag onto her shoulder and left the note on the pillow.

She opened the door and silently walked down the stairs. Dean was sitting at the desk and she need to get passed him to get out of the door. She cursed him mentally until she spotted the escape route.

She walked over and opened the window and threw the bags out. They made no sound as they hit the ground and she thanked what ever god was up there and pushed the window open farther.

She climbed out easily and sighed as she closed the window. She watched as Dean ran his fingers through his hair and turned the page. He was worried about something. She bit her lip and let go.

She was doing this for him. For them. Soon he would have nothing to worry about it would all be ok. She would fix this. Hell he had fixed her enough times. She was a broken doll. She knew that. He knew that. But it was their secret. Their little secret.

She picked up the bags and walked over to her car. She couldn't start it yet, Dean was still up and he would give chase. She looked around. No other cars in sight. Sighing, she walked over to the Impala.

"I'm sorry" she whispered and opened the bonnet. She reached down and removed the Carburettor. She muttered a prayer as she placed it on the back seat. He couldn't follow her without it. The engine wouldn't start.

She froze when darkness fell on her. Dean had turned out the light. She made her way over to her car. The light in Dean and Sam's room went on and she let out a shaky breath. She quietly got into her car and watched in the rear view mirror as Dean moved around the room. She looked at her watch. It was half twelve.

Shit. She should be gone by now. She swallowed and started the engine. With one last look she lifted her eyes to the window. A move she regretted instantly.

Dean had a shocked look on his face. His eyes were etched with pain. "Don't worry Dean." she whispered. "it'll be ok." She slammed on the accelerator and sped out of the entrance.

Bobby glared at Dean. Sam looked up. "oh come on Bobby! How Is this Dean's fault?!" he smacked the cup down on the table and stood up.

"tell me Sam? Why cant I blame him?" Bobby glared at Sam.

"No Bobby you tell me how can you?"

Dean was honestly shattered she had gone. He had promised himself that this year he would tell her. It had to be this year. He only had this one year.

Bobby obviously didn't have an answer. He just wanted his little girl back and was looking for someone to blame. He saw a lot of John in Dean and Hated the fact that both Winchester men had taken his daughter into a life he was keeping her from.

It was John first. He was the one who put the fairytale into her young fourteen year old head. After Dean's first hunt he was in need of a patch up and Bobby's place was the closest.

Alexis had been there. She was the one who opened the door to them. She was the one who had patched Dean up and when Dean asked why she simply said it was 'because she could'.

John had filled her in on all the details that Dean didn't want to put in her head. She was thrilled by it. She knew how to fire a gun, how to throw a knife with great accuracy. She could recite Latin rituals backwards and forwards. But Bobby would never let her out onto the field.

Her eyes lit up whenever John told her about one of his or Dean's hunts. Dean still seemed reluctant.

That was until one Friday when Alexis was fifteen. Dean stopped by he was using his dad's car. John was ill so Dean was doing this hunt and wondered if she wanted to come.

Bobby could have killed him there and then. Alexis grinned and grabbed her jacket.

They had came back four hours later and she was laughing. She actually was laughing. Bobby couldn't believe how old his little girl looked, her green top was blood stained. She had a gash above her eye. He knew she was no longer the innocent little girl she left there as. He knew she had grown up that night.

Her face was smeared with ash. She smelt like fire. Not her usual soft floral perfume that she always wore. She wasn't his little girl anymore. And it was all the Winchesters' fault.

Sam was still waiting for his answer when Bobby came up for air.

"because if you're damned brother hadn't taken her on her first damned hunt then went off and made a deal, my little girl would still be my little girl." Bobby punctuated each word with a bang on his fist on the table.

Dean looked at the note on the table again. She had written that she was going to fix things. She needed time on her own. She didn't want to be a broken doll any more. It sounded like a suicide note and Dean wondered if it was. Sam looked at him.

"this isn't You're fault Dean." he was calm. Dean looked at him side on.

"you sure about that?" Dean was really verging on Bobby's idea this could be his fault. This could all be down to him.

"Yeah" Sam sounded arrogant. A small smile graced Dean's lips.

"at least someone is" he muttered as he left the room. Sam glared at Bobby. "Thanks for that" his voice was dripping with sarcasm. Sam stormed out and Bobby was once again left with his own thoughts.

Alexis sat in the café. She had made it. Not with a lot of time to spare but she had made it.

She sat in the far corner of the room away from everyone. She cradled the cup in her hands and waited for her.

She should be here by now. Alex checked her watch again and sighed. The bell above the door rang signifying another customer. Alexis' eyes darted to the door.

A Short woman stood in the door way. Piercing blue eyes, Blonde hair. Alexis smiled and tilted her head back. She looked back again and the woman was gone. Alexis looked at her cup then looked up into those eyes. "long time no see" she said casually as the woman took a seat.

"yeah well Lex what do you expect." the woman was just as she remembered. "Look you know why I'm here Sienna do you have it or not?" Alexis' voice was cold and harsh. Sienna smiled and looked at her.

"no. but I know who does."

What came first the Love song or Love?

"It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it."

Dean sang along to metallica as they sped down another stretch of country side in some other state. Dean had no idea where he was driving to. They were headed south. that's all he knew.

Sam was reading the map it wasn't Dean's decision. Sam found the hunt. Dean was going to find the motel and then some random girl that was either blonde or had black hair and brown or blue eyes and was either really tall or really short. Oh and he was steering well clear of girls with a Texan accent too.

That should do it. Sam shut off the racket Dean called music and searched for a radio station. He landed on his favourite only to find that, being out of Colorado, it wasn't the same station.

'_When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears  
It was easy to see you'd been crying  
Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns  
But who really profits from the dying'_

Dean looked at the radio sheer horror etched onto his face. Sam smiled and lent back. This song meant nothing to him. Absolutely nothing.

He knew the words though, Jess sang it all the time. When he went to Stanford wasn't the first time he had heard it though.

Someone else sang it. All of the time. The first time she had sang it was when Dean was ill. He had a fever and wouldn't shut up. She walked over to his bed and pulled him into her arms and sang it to him. She claimed it was the only song she could sing in tune but Sam knew better. She could hold more than a tune.

_I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you forever  
I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you forever'_

She had held him until he went to sleep. She ended up singing the song over and over. She managed to get Sam to sleep as well.

She was good at that. She was able to get rid of nightmares and the like from Sam. She was the only one Dean trusted with Sam. He would ask her to baby sit when he and John went on hunts too dangerous for Sam to tag along.

'_When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions  
My worried mind that you quiet  
Place your hands on my face  
Close my eyes and say'_

Sam sniggered at the next thought. His womanising brother was a late starter. Sam actually thought it was sweet to a certain extent.

Dean had waited until he was twenty before he lost his virginity. He waited for her. They weren't even a couple. Sam couldn't remember Dean and her actually dating but he remembered their first kiss.

They were pissed off with each other. He had said something and she was mad. They were arguing and then she carried it on. Dean stood there and pouted. He kept saying over and over to shut up and when she finally came up for air and heard him saying shut up; Her 'amazing' response was to tell him to 'make me'.

So Dean did. He closed the space between her and kissed her. That shut her up. Well until he went to walk away and she started yelling that he was an ass and playing with feelings was cruel.

He walked over and kissed her again. Sam remembered tightly closing his eyes and promising himself that he would get laser treatment on his retina to remove the graphic image of them French kissing. Yuck. The image was still there and Sam screwed his face up.

'_So now we see how it is  
This fist begets the spear  
Weapons of war  
Symptoms of madness'_

She had walked in just after _that _fight. The one where Sammy said he was leaving. She walked in as Sam walked out. She met him on the door way on the way to the bus station. She had walked him there sat with him until the bus came. She didn't cry it was the rain on her face she told him.

They were in a sheltered bus stop. But it was the rain. She was the one who comforted Dean as the bus pulled away. She was the first one to crash at his place in Stanford.

He woke up one morning and walked into the kitchen where she had made a feast of pancakes and muffins and bagels. Sam thought it was Jess until Jess joined him in a towel.

She had smirked and said it was the least she could do after crashing his place. He had laughed. Six months later it was Dean who crashed his place. And his girlfriend had died.

_Don't let your eyes refuse to see  
Don't let your ears refuse to hear  
Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness'_

Sam didn't realise how much she had featured in his life. But he did know how much Dean needed her. Dean didn't know yet but Sam did.

And if it was the last thing Sam did he was going to save his brother. Make him see how much he needed her. He wasn't just doing this for Dean. The little voice in his head reasoned.

He needed her here too. Not that he would admit that. He was like Dean. He wasn't going to tell her he loved her. He wasn't going to tell her he needed her. Because he didn't love her like that. He needed her but he didn't need her like that.

He was going to make her see that Dean did though. He knew what he had to do. that's why he had traced her cell to Nebraska. that's why there were going on the hunt he thought she was on.

Alexis smiled at the song on the radio. She sat in the cover of trees. Sam was far from stupid. But so was she.

She wasn't going to let him find her. They would pick the lock and find the phone on the bed. She wasn't ready to let him find her.

She still had to find it. They would get in the way. She would find them and sort this mess out. It would be easy. She had less then eleven months left to find it and get it back to him.

But she wasn't loosing him. Not this time there was no way he was leaving her. Not this time. The song changed. she laughed to herself. These songs were going her way today.

She heard the Impala's engine and watched as Sam slouched in the seat and Dean lent down to flick his music on. Alexis smiled and swallowed. She watched the car speed away and pulled out of her hiding place. She turned up the song and began to sing along.

"_and even if saving you sends me to heaven….."_

Wanna Play Another Game Of Truth Or Dare?

"never let the fear of losing, keep you from playing the game"

Dean took another swig out if his beer bottle. Sam had gone home early and Dean's attention was solely focused on getting this girl into bed. She wasn't auburn, or any colour resembling this hair colour, she had piercing blue eyes, she was short and she had a thick Californian accent.

Perfect. He rested his elbow on the bar. She was partially drunk too. This would be easy. He ran his other hand down her arm and onto her thigh. She raised hers and gently pulled his head towards hers and kissed him fiercely.

When they pull apart to breathe he decided that he couldn't wait any longer. She's first to her feet and takes his hand leads him outside and goes down an alley. She leant against the wall pulling him with her. Their kisses were more teeth then tongue and her hands fought with his belt as his pushed her skirt up. She reached into his back pocket and took out the condom that was there. She moved away from his mouth to tear open the packet as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She was about to put it on when he stopped her.

She looked at him. "I can't do this I'm sorry." he eased her down and zipped up his jeans. She fixed herself and laughed.

"thank god you told me now. You know I didn't have you pegged as the faithful type." her voice was cold.

"yeah, me neither" he agreed with a laugh as he walked off down the alley and rounded the corner. The blonde let out a menacing laugh.

"You should have went through with that Dean, the hunt you're pretty little sidekick is on is all in vain. You'll never know how close you just came to saving your own life." the yellow shone in her eyes and she took the little lilac rock from her pocket. "she loves you though." she laughed as she walked back into the bar.

Sam broke into the room. It was spotless. She was scary. She could clean up an entire hunt in under an hour. Sam gasped when he seen the cell on the bed and knew that now he'd never find her. She'd never know how much Dean loved her. Unless they found a way to save him it'd be too late. Dean had eleven months and one week left. Dean was out at some bar picking up some random girl because he could. Sam hit the wall in frustration then made his way back to their own room.

Dean couldn't believe it. He'd just turned down sex. And he was nearly crying. Damn. He wiped his eyes and sighed. He had to find her if it was the last thing he done he'd tell her he loved her.

He'd let her know how much he loved her. Let her know that it was the thought of seeing her again that kept him going. Kept him alive. He just he wanted to tell her and he didn't want to be too late.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets and sighed. He would be though. He screwed things up and that's why he had one year to get this fixed. He bit down on his lower lip desperate to stop the sob.

He was doing this for Sammy. He smiled when he heard that song again. It was haunting him.

'_I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you forever'_

Don't Knock on Deaths door, Ring the doorbell then run he hates that!

"Love is not in our choice but in our fate."

Sam looked up as Dean walked in. He was gone longer than he should have been. And Sam had the feeling that he wasn't with a girl. Dean took of his jacket and made his way to the bathroom.

He never made eye contact. Not once. Sam watched him from the laptop and sighed. Dean was broken. Sam knew that he saw right through him. But now wasn't the time to ask him about it.

Sam had learned that the motel they were staying in was haunted. That's why she had left her phone here. She had also left a bunch of research Sam had noticed on his way out of the door.

He had picked up her cell too. She may or may not want it back but then again it may be her way to track them. Sam was looking through the papers when the lights started to flash and the radio flickered on and off. Sam reached for the shot gun and the iron rod that was beside him.

He made his way over to the bathroom knowing Dean didn't have anything to protect himself with. Sam heard a sharp crash and threw the door open. Dean was slumped on the floor his head was covered in blood and he was unconscious. Sam gasped as he was thrown off the wall dropping the shot gun and the iron pole.

Dean walked into the room in silence. He didn't look at Sam. He knew better. Sam would suss him out too easily. He just took off his jacket and waked into the bathroom. He closed the door and sighed.

He was amazed he had held it together for so long. The tears made tracks down his cheeks. He wanted her here right now. He want her to tell him it would be ok.

Dean gazed in to the mirror and sighed. The lights started to flicker and Dean knew he was in major trouble. The spirit looked Dean in the eye using the mirror and grinned.

Dean flew face first into the mirror with a crash. It took him less than a minute to come round. He grabbed the shot gun and made the shot. The supernatural hold on Sam broke and he slid to the floor.

Dean sat up his face littered with cuts and blood. Sam gasped as he knelt down in front of him. Dean smiled a small smiled then moved to stand up. "We need to find that grave Sammy and Fast." Dean frowned when he saw the state of the mirror.

"Yeah uhm I know where it is." Sam looked unsure whether to explain how he knew or to leave it. Dean looked at him with the confused as hell look on his bloody face and Sam smiled. "Alex gave me the research" Sam took the plunge.

"Alex?" Dean questioned "Alexis is here?" He looked passed Sam.

"No she was-" Dean looked away from Sam.

"She was here and you never told me?" Dean was yelling.

"she left before we got here Dean!" Sam yelled back.

"then how'd she give you the stuff huh?!" Dean sounded like a five year old.

"look we came here to get her. I traced her cell here but she sussed me out so she is God only knows where but she left me this." Sam pointed to the case file.

"oh." Dean's voice was weak. He walked over to the file and flipped through the pages. Blood dripped from his face onto the paper.

"Eh Dean?" Sam said alarmed as Dean picked up his jacket,

"yeah Sam?" he asked.

"you're bleeding……" Sam looked at Dean who touched his face. "let me patch you up.." Sam walked into the bathroom and got the first aid kit. Dean sat on the bed and

Sam sat next to him. He cleaned away the blood and Frowned when Dean kept fidgeting. "I know it hurts but could you please sit still" Sam grabbed Dean's shoulders. The cuts weren't deep but there were lots. Dean glared at him. "ok Done. Now that didn't take so long did it!" Sam sounded all mother hen on Dean and he walked out to the car.

Four hours later they had dug the grave and salted and burned the bones. Dean had decided that they should leave. So they packed and Dean had went out to the car. Sam lingered in the room and took out Alexis' cell and went into saved messages. He laughed softly. Flipped the phone closed.

Sam was driving and Dean was pretending to sleep. Sam had had enough and pulled over. The sudden jerk caused Dean to curse and sit up. "What the hell Sam?" Dean yelled when the Impala skidded to a halt.

"I've had enough Dean." Sam spat. Dean took off his sunglasses and looked Sam in the eye.

"talk to me man! This is like Dad all over again!" Sam lowered his voice. Dean still didn't say anything. Sam's voice shook. "look Dean you have given up you're life for me. Again. This time its serious. I need to find a away to help you and I don't know if there is a way. Dean please don't push me away." tears began to cascade down his cheeks. Dean sighed.

"dude stop it. Ok I know I'm being an ass about this but I'm scared dude. I don't want to leave you here by yourself. And now Alex is gone and I'm worried you'll get hurt again. I just wanted to protect you and I screwed it up again. Sammy all I ever wanted for you was to have a life. Whatever life you wanted but you had to be safe." Dean let the tears fall.

"I will be safe Dean. I promise." Sam swallowed "but its not just that is it Dean?" Sam looked at him.

"I always thought I'd have time you know, have kids that kinda stuff. But it was one person I wanted it with. One single person. I know she doesn't know. And I also know she probably doesn't think the same way about me. Hell its been over four years since I saw her. She was practically a kid when I last saw her." Dean stopped. Sam beckoned him to continue.

"I wanted to tell her you know. After dad. She was always on my mind you know. How someone can go just like that. I wanted to find her. But I never did and now. I have lost her again. When she left the look in her eyes. I was hurt Sam. She just Left me." he wiped his eyes but Sam knew there was more. "I met a girl tonight but I couldn't do it. It scared me but I want to find her Sam. Before it's too late"

Some Things are just set in Stone.

"There is love of course And then there's life its enemy"

Dean hadn't spoken to Sam since that night in the car. Just simple one word answers. Sam hadn't spoken to Dean either. But he was becoming increasingly worried. Dean had less than 36 weeks left. And he was drinking. Heavily.

Sam was worried his liver would give out before they had time. Sam had been looking for a way out of it but he couldn't find anything. Bobby had been looking for it but he couldn't find anything.

They had all been looking for Her but couldn't find her. Dean came in late. Drunk. Took his jacket off and his top. And fell into bed. Sam rolled his eyes.

He looked at the clock. In exactly half an hour Dean will be in the bathroom throwing up. Half an hour passed. An hour. An hour and a half. Dean hadn't even moved. Sam looked up from his research.

"Dean?" he wasn't sure whether to wake him but he was worried. "Dean" he got up and walked over to the bed. He touched Dean's shoulder. He was ice cold. "Dean!"

Sam gasped and turned him over. His lips were tinged blue and he was cold. Sam lowered his head to Dean's mouth. He wasn't breathing. "OH GOD!" he yelled and shook him.

Sam went into his back pocket and took out his cell. He dialled the only number he knew could help. The voice on the other line was panicked and told Sam to call an ambulance and they'd meet him outside the hospital.

It had been eight hours since Dean had been admitted to hospital. Sam knew every inch of his room's floor off by heart. Sam watched the door.

No-one had came since he got here. He had called Bobby who went and Cleared their stuff out of the motel. Dean was on a ventilator.

Why the hell did Sam not check? Sam had thrown up a few times. He was wracked with guilt. He called the number again. He couldn't wait. Not any more. The voice at the other side was thick this time.

The tears and guilt were evident. Sam closed his eyes and bit down on his lip.

"I want you to come and see him. He wants it too." Sam looked at his brother on the bed. "No," he answered.

No. Dean wasn't awake. And no he probably wont ever be again. How could Sam do this to him? After everything he has given up for him? Fresh tears made their way down Sam's cheeks. He couldn't leave not yet. Not now. No way. Sam couldn't take the silence and turned the Radio on.

'_There's no one in town I know  
You gave us some place to go.  
I never said thank you for that.  
I thought I might get one more chance.'_

Sam's breath caught in his throat. Again. The song suited his mood. It was playing the day she appeared in his kitchen. She was singing it quietly. Then denied it. Like she was denying she loved Dean right now. He swallowed as the tears threatened to engulf him.

'_What would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that,  
now I'll never have a chance.'_

Last time he was here, Sam had found his father lying lifeless on the ground. He didn't want Dean to go that way. He couldn't. Sam still had to have time. He was shaking now. The emotion and tears were destroying him and he was drowning. His breaths came in ragged gasps. He wanted Dean to laugh at him. Make some sarcastic comment. Just be Dean. Be his big brother.

'_Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in.'_

Sam lent forward into the bed. " Dean wake up" his voice was pleading and it caught in his throat. "Don't leave me not now." he was violently shaking. The song played softly in the back ground. Sam's head was swimming. He had found nothing could do nothing. Dean was dying for him. It was his fault.

'_And if you were with me tonight,  
I'd sing to you just one more time.  
A song for a heart so big,  
god wouldn't let it live.'_

Sam hadn't heard the footsteps. Had no idea there was someone watching him until he heard the voice. The voice that sang him to sleep. The voice that he wanted to hear so bad. The voice from his kitchen. He turned around. She was leaning against the door frame.

This was her song. She had told him that. And this verse was hers and Dean's. she had told him that when she was drunk and denied it later. She walked over to the bed and took Dean's hand "Come on Dean please." he eyes shone with tears.

She never cried. Not ever. Sam closed his eyes. He heard spluttering and opened his eyes. She unfastened the clip and the air stopped going into Dean's lungs. Sam let out a shaky laugh.

He noticed the sense of belonging in Dean's eyes when he gazed up into those massive green depths she called eyes. Sam knew that everything would be ok. She wouldn't let him down.

She laughed when Sam told her about the hunt. Dean looked from person to person with occasional input. He didn't need to talk. Not right now. Things were ok. Alexis was here.

And if she left him it would be ok. She would came back. She had proved that. He watched her eyes light up as they always had done.

He wanted to hold her right now.

Just hold her. He knew deep down that it would never happen and has decided all in one go that, no, he wouldn't tell her. This secret was going to the grave with him. She cared about him and that's all he needed to know. Dean bit his lip. And she smiled at him.

"You ok?" her eyes shone with concern.

"yeah just sleepy" he had become good at lying. She smiled and carried on her conversation with Sam.

Dean watched a nurse passing and looked confused for a moment but he put it down to the drugs they had him on. The nurse walked on to the desk and picked up Dean's file.

Her blue eyes shone and she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. If sedatives wouldn't kill him then there had to be something the would…

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back,

"Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love."

Alexis felt strange. Not due to the fact she was watching Dean sleep, but the fact she actually felt comfortable doing it. She stood in the door way watching his chest rise and fall with each shallow breath he took.

She smiled slightly at him. He looked so vulnerable lying there. Almost boyish. One hand under the pillow, the other across his stomach. The hand under the pillow was probably holding the gun he usually kept in his pants.

Alex was surprised at how much she remembered about him. How vulnerable he became around her. How comfortable he was to become vulnerable around her, let everything just fall. she smiled as he rolled over.

Her mind was subconsciously joining the dots. The first time she'd kissed him they had been arguing.

The second time she was in the bathroom and he walked in on her. She knew she should have bolted the door. But she couldn't hide what she was doing. It was too late he had seen. The colour had drained from his face as he walked over to her. She had expected him to go nuts and yell but he was so gentle.

He knelt down in front of her and took the blade from her hand. He pressed tightly on the wound and got the first aid kit down. He never spoke. He just cleaned her up. Then held her. He kissed her head. Softly. Then the tip of her nose. Then her lips. He threaded his fingers through hers. His way of letting her know he was there.

Her hand traced the pattern down her arm as his hand had done, onto what was now a scar. She smiled at him laying there. She was just fifteen when he took the blade from her. She hadn't went near that wrist again. Or her thighs. She wanted to crawl in beside him again.

Just like that night he got shot and John thought the bleeding would never stop. She had crawled in behind him and pressed down gently on the wound. She fell asleep like that. When she woke up he was staring at her. His massive eyes staring at her. She told him it was because of the bleeding and he had accepted that.

The bed looked so warm and inviting and a half naked Dean didn't look too bad either. She mentally shook herself for thinking such things.

She looked past Dean and out to the Impala. She bit down on her bottom lip as a smile spread across her face. She was on her first proper hunt at eighteen. It was a Zombie. And she killed it. She had wanted to be on her own after it.

Alexis had went to a little fence next to a river with a six pack. She wanted to forget. To become numb. Dean had found her. On the fence. And picked up a bottle. He was so sweet about it. He told her that it was ok. And he went to take her hand.

She pulled away and they talked. It escalated and she began to argue with him. She climbed from the fence, yelling. Arms flailing. And he noticed. He grabbed her hand. And held it above her head.

"I thought we stopped this?" his voice was sweet. She couldn't help the tears. She had thought so too but it was hard. He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her. She kissed him.

Before she knew it she was wrapped up in his jacket and his arms in the back of the Impala. She watched Dean as he moved again. Softly she walked across the room. She pulled the blanket over his shoulders and kissed his head. She wasn't loosing him. She lived for this.

She would get it back. She had to. She also knew she had to find sienna……

You Get One Chance No Matter What The Papers Say.

"The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're still alive."

Alexis was a backseat driver and she was in the backseat of the Impala. Her beloved Cadillac had a puncture. And she was pissed. Dean couldn't help but gaze into the mirror. She was so much hotter when she was emotional.

Alexis slouched in the backseat and crossed her arms over her chest, lips drawn into a pout. Sam was pissed too. Not so good.

It was Sammy who had gotten the puncture in her tire on their last hunt and she had physically shown her displeasure when she had kicked him. Hard. On the shin.

Dean laughed to himself as they made their way down another stretch of country road.

"What the hell you laughing at Winchester?" she growled low in her throat. This was so not funny. He was cute though and his laugh was infectious. _But _the little voice in her head reasoned _he has less than 36 weeks left and you don__t have a car to help him. _she shuddered at the thought.

Her anger grew when Sam huffed as Dean turned the air con off mistaking her shudder for cold. "what's your problem!?" she yelled sitting up.

"my problem!" he turned around in the seat. "I don't have a problem you obviously do!" his face was contorted with raged and she laughed.

"WRONG!" she laughed harder but it wasn't a happy laugh. It had an edge to it. A dangerous edge. "I have 2! One is my car is broken because of the second problem which is YOU!" her voice was so high Dean wondered of dogs could actually hear her.

Dean kept driving, as the two of them argued and fought and cursed and yelled and screamed. His head was actually ringing when he eventually pulled up at a motel. Alexis fumed to the entrance and got them rooms. She was NOT sharing with Sam.

Sam huffed and walked passed her into the room he and Dean were supposed to be sharing and slammed the door locking it behind him. Dean hit the door in frustration. "Sam!" he yelled banging on the door. "Open the Goddamned door idiot!" he hit the door again.

"Leave it Dean." Alexis placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He smiled and walked into the room with her.

Sam had let Dean into the room a few minutes later then kicked him out again. So four hours later he was sitting in Alexis' room on the bed with her. They were talking.

They had M & M's and beer and they were talking. Talking about the past four years. She looked so young sitting there cross legged no make up on tiny shorts and a tank top.

She had gotten her hair cut. It was much shorter. It was a bob. Well a little longer than a bob. It was beautiful though. She really suited it. She had two tiny bobbles in at the back of her head, in his opinion, it was stupid. But she looked cute so he left it.

She blew her fringe out of her eyes and laughed at his expression. "So I freaked out and left." she took a swig of her beer and shrugged. Dean loved this about her. Her carefree attitude, she flicked her hair out of her face and he looked at the scar underneath her thick fringe. First hunt. He smiled. "What?" she asked with a nervous giggle.

"nothing" he laughed and she made a face.

"you're looking at the scar aren't you?" she kinked her eye brow. He nodded silently. She smirked. "well if one scar is better than a loss of life I guess." she reasoned.

"I WASN'T GONNA DIE!" he looked at her exasperated. She grinned and he huffed all the while smiling at the sparkle in her eyes.

" so what about you then?" she smirked into her beer.

"nothing much actually." she met his gaze.

"'cept getting laid and making deals?" she smirked into the bottle and he smiled at her

"something like that." she stuck her tongue out and laughed,

"I know everything." she giggled and Dean smirked. " Dean?" she looked at him. "yeah" he sensed the seriousness in her tone.

"Erm. I know how to get you out of this. I just haven't actually found it yet." she looked into his eyes.

"What is it?" he asked so quietly.

"it's a stone." she put her beer down.

They were verging into emotional territory and it didn't feel right to do it with a bottle of beer in her hand. Dean followed suit and cleared the M&M's off of the bed at the same time. She shifted so she was facing him properly.

"how do you know it will help?" his voice was level and gentle.

"seen it done." she held his gaze and he nodded. She tilted her head and smiled.

"its ok Dean. I may not be blonde anymore but I'm still me!" she punched his arm and he sighed. She turned around and sat next to him. Out of instinct he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her onto his lap. She nuzzled into him and sighed.

He still smelled like Dean. Still the twenty two year old Dean with his whole life in front of him. He gently kissed the top of her head and felt her smile into his chest.

He was comfortable with this. He reached down and pulled the covers around them. She smiled into his chest again. She could get used to this. No wait. She couldn't. Nope. Not until she was sure he wasn't leaving her again. She looked at his wrist as he stroked her arm. She laughed and he looked down.

"what?" it was his turn to be nervous.

"you still wearing that?" she asked as she ran her fingers over the black beeds. "hell yeah!" he looked into her eyes.

"I made that when I was like ten Dean!" she laughed into him, lowering her head on to his chest again.

"so?" his voice was soft but serious and she smiled at it. She sighed against his chest and held onto the soft material of the shirt. She stretched one of her unnaturally long legs and flipped the radio on. Dean laughed as she snuggled into him again. He rolled his eyes when she muttered something about simple things and simple minds. They both nervously laughed at the song that came on.

'_When you hold me like you do  
It feels so right, oh now  
Start to forget how my heart gets torn  
When that hurt gets thrown  
Feeling like I can't go on.  
Turning' circles time again'_

Never one to make uncomfortable silences more uncomfortable, Alexis picked up her bottle of beer and sang along. Dean laughed at her and opened his arms so she could snuggle down again. "hey Lexie?" he asked sweetly. She smiled at the nick-name. he was the only person who called her that. Actually he was the only person whom she _allowed _to call her that.

"yeah de?" she looked up at him.

"I, erm… I" he stuttered.

"Spit it out Winchester." she smirked looking him in the eyes. Rod Stewart's _missing You. _filled the room and she sighed. She looked at him as if seeking permission to answer. He nodded and she picked up the cell. "yeah Dad, thanks I so owe you." she clicked the phone shut. "so what were you saying?" she looked at him and he shook his head.

"Nothing of any importance." he lied.

"come on Dean." he gazed at him.

"I cant actually remember that's what took me so long to answer." he was lying through his teeth and praying she bought it. Her hand connected with the side of his head.

"fool." she laughed and snuggled down to sleep. When her breathing finally swallowed, Dean lay down slowly and gazed at her face.

"I love you." he whispered softly then kissed her head.

In these Ever Changing Games You're the one thing that Remains.

'When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad that they have to get better.'

Alexis glared at the woman opposite. Dean had one month left. One. Single. Month. She slapped her hard across the face just for the hell of it one more time. "tell me where it is." she spat and glared at the woman tied to the chair.

"You wont find it." the woman laughed. Alexis was pissed. That much was obvious. She stood and kicked the chair away from her.

The old abandoned house she was in was practically empty. A table a few chairs, nothing much. The white figure hugging tank top that Alexis wore was covered in blood. Both hers and the blondes sitting on the chair. Alexis' face was contorted with rage. She grabbed the knife from the table and glared at the blonde.

"I know you had it bitch now spill." her eyes were dark.

"yeah because your asking so nicely." the blonde gazed up at her. Alexis staled over to the chair and ran the blade down the blonde's arm. She yelped in pain and Alexis laughed.

"Tell. Me. Where. It. Is. Bitch." she inched closer and closer to her face. She pulled back and laughed in an evil tone as she went into her bag and took out a bottle.

She tossed it on her and it sizzled. "well. Well. Well. Sienna aint all she's supposed to be is she?" Alex bit down on her bottom lip and growled low in her throat. She lunged at her and twisted the knife deep into her heart.

She recited some Latin ritual. A black cloud poured from her mouth and Alexis grunted pulling the knife from the lifeless body. She wiped it on Sienna's shirt and packed her things. She took one look at the figure in the chair and shook her head.

She smacked the steering wheel. Then it stuck her. Indianapolis. She knew where she had to go.

As she was driving she swerved, turning the car around. It struck her. South Dakota. She slammed the brakes on nearly knocking down an old woman and headed in the other direction. She picked up her cell. She dialled his number without even looking at the key pad. "hey I need you to give me the exact co-ordinates of where you made that deal."

She pulled up at the spot and walked into the centre. She dug up the box and put her photo in and walked backwards. The demon appeared and Alexis smiled. "what you here for Alexis? You wanna get Dean out of it? Make a deal for the love of you're life?" the demon smirked. Alexis laughed and the demons smiled vanished.

"no bitch you're the one making the deal." she grinned evilly and walked towards her.

Shut You're Eyes, Kiss Me Goodbye.

"Death cannot stop true love; it can only delay it for a little while."

Dean was sitting on the bed of yet another run down motel. He had been getting progressively worse. He had one week left. Just the one. He had visited his mothers and fathers graves, Hunted 'sons-of-bitches', got drunk. But he still hadn't told her. He wasn't going to.

He had seen her a few times since but it wasn't enough. He missed her. He had a dull ache in his heart. He longed to see her just one more time but she could be anywhere.

And he had one week. Dean flicked through the channels and ignored the thumping pain in his head. Sam looked over at him. Dean was sweating. He had been coughing up blood.

They couldn't get his temperature down. His big brother was dying. The tears stung Sam's eyes. He couldn't stop it. After everything Dean had given him he couldn't stop it.

Dean winced as another shot of pain shot through his body. Sam looked up at the clock on the wall. In less than five minutes Dean would have another seizure. Dean bit down hard on his lip. This hurt. He slowly lay down. He didn't want to scare Sam anymore than he already was. He began to take deep breaths it would be easier this way, he thought as he felt himself begin to shake.

Ten minutes later the seizure let go of Dean and he began the struggle to get his breathing under control. Sam placed the damp cloth on Dean's forehead and smiled at him.

He got up and took the other bowl of water into the bathroom to get clean stuff. He rested his head against the mirror and let the tears fall. this was difficult. No-one had said it would be easy. But then again, no-one had said it would be this hard.

Sam's hands trembled as he ran the water in an attempt to drown out his sobs. He heard the door click open and shut and his body froze. He wiped his eyes and shut the water off.

Glancing in the mirror he was worried he saw no reflection. He slowly turned and walked out. He smiled. For once this was a genuinely happy smile. He gazed at the bed as the tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Dean thought he was going to die there and then. He honestly did. The pain was intense and so was the feeling of aloneness. The cold cloth on his head and the weight on the bed let him know Sam was there for him.

But who was going to protect him when Dean was gone. The weight moved and Dean guessed Sam had probably went to get more ice. He could hear him cry. He had heard him cry every night for the past month.

Dean heard the door open and click shut and felt the cold breeze fill the room. The water in the bathroom went off and he opened his light sensitive eyes and gazed up.

He smiled and totally relaxed. _'"When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions My worried mind that you were quiet Place your hands on my face Close my eyes and say I could hold you in my arms I could hold you forever I could hold you in my arms I could hold you forever' "_

When Dean woke up he felt two arms wrapped around him. He smiled and shifted position, which woke his bed partner up.

"why'd you have to fidget so much Winchester?" the voice was soft and he smiled, pushing an auburn strand of hair out of the massive green eyes, which seemed to glow in the morning. Sam sleepily lifted his head from the other side of the bed and Alexis smiled at him.

"go back to sleep Sammy its ok." she practically whispered and Sam placed his head down on the pillow. He only ever got a good sleep when she was there.

Dean bit down on his lip as another bout of seizures threatened him and she gently cupped his face. He laid back down on the bed and she picked up the cloth. This time it was going to be ok. He began to tremble and she lowered her head to his ear.

"it's ok Dean." she threaded her fingers through his. "we can do this. We can get through this together you hear me?" she placed a gently kiss against his head. And he gripped her hand.

His body began to convulse and she held him tighter. '_I could hold you in my arms I could hold you forever I could hold you in my arms I could hold you forever' _her voice seemed to drown out all the pain and the fears that were beginning to hold him under.

His breathing sped up as she kissed his head. He stopped. Just like that. Her heart began to race. Last night he had slowed he hadn't just stopped. "Dean?"she whispered afraid to even move.

His hand once again tightened around hers as he tried to blink away the blinding pain. She moved to look down into his eyes and he smiled up at her. She softly placed her lips against his head and reached for the forgotten cloth.

She smoothly wiped away the sweat and picked up some ice chips. Helping him sit up, Alexis pressed a chip against his lips and he opened his mouth. She ran her thumb over his pouty bottom lip and he pressed a gentle kiss against it.

"Dean" her voice was soft. "we have to get you back to South Dakota. Think you'd be up for that?" she ran her fingers through his hair and he nodded. Sam looked up from the other bed.

She had told him last night after getting that call. Sam moved to get up. He and Alexis had packed their belongings last night and took them out to the car. Her car was a Bobby's. he'd meet them in Dakota.

Sam looked at the linked hands and smiled. At least. He thought, I did kinda get them together. He just hoped it would be enough to get Dean out of this deal and to hold on.

And You Believed Me on Every Single Lie.

"Real love stories never have endings, because real love stories never end"

Sam sped down the stretch of road. Driving in the dark in itself wasn't easy but when the only person in the world how matters to you is fighting for their life in the back seat, its another story. Alexis pressed her cheek gently against the side of Dean's sweat soaked head followed by her lips to his temple.

Her right hand smoothed the sodden material back and forth across his chest whilst her left hand gripped onto his. Her tank top had become damp from both his and hers perspiration as they struggled to control his seizures.

The cloth that was supposed to be used to wipe head and been instead used to stop him breaking his teeth, his jaw or biting his own tongue off. Dean groaned and gripped her hand tighter as yet another wave of pain ripped through his body. She was exhausted. She daren't even think about what the pain was like for him.

She shifted and he went to lean off of her thinking that he had hurt her when her hand pulled him back into her. _'"When you hold me like you do It feels so right, oh now Start to forget how my heart gets torn When that hurt gets thrown Feeling like I can't go on. Turning' circles time again'_

Sam was glad she had changed the song. He knew the other two off by heart and to be honest, they weren't all that encouraging. Alexis looked up.

"how long till we're there Sammy?" she swallowed then exhaled as Dean's body stopped shaking and a groan escaped his lips.

Alexis hand moved instantly into his hair and she began to slowly sway from side to side, rocking him to get rid of the pain. He took her hand the held onto it tightly. She glanced at her watch then back at Sam.

"about twenty minutes." his voice was shaky.

"Its ok Sam." she moved her right hand and touched Sam shoulder and he smiled. Alexis wasn't sure who she was reassuring at this point.

Dean suppressed the yelp but she practically felt the pain in his body. "come on Dean we can do this." she kissed his head again and he managed a weak smile. She reached down and picked up the bottle of water and raised it to his dry, cracked lips. He was so weak.

Alexis was petrified she was going to lose him. She couldn't. She had to tell him how she felt but the rejection would be too much to bear and if he died, knowing he died hating her that wasn't an option either.

She screwed the cap back on the bottle. This was her safety net, the one thing she could do and no-one would get suspicious. It was just a song. She had set herself up for this. Singing different songs all night. She swallowed and began to sing once again.

'_I was waiting, For the day you'd come around. I was chasing, And nothing was all I found., From the moment you came into my life, You showed me what's right. And it feels like tonight. I can't believe I'm broken inside., Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do, But try to make it up to you? And it feels like tonight.' _

She smiled against his head as he threaded his fingers through hers and smiled. The Impala came to an abrupt halt and Alexis raised her eyes into the mirror. She nodded silently. This would either work or it wouldn't.

Alexis walked into the centre of the cross roads but instead of dropping to her knees, she jumped, diving out of the way of the onslaught of bullets. Sam Grabbed Dean and ducked behind the Impala.

Bobby took his gun and fired it in the direction of the bullets. Alexis swore then spat the blood out of her mouth. Shit. She had burst her lip as she dived for cover. Freaking marvellous. Dean went to reach for his gun but Sam stopped him.

Bobby moved over to the Winchesters knowing full well his little girl could handle her own. The gun fire stopped and Alexis stood up and walked out. Five minutes. Shit. Shit. Double Shit. She bit her swollen lip as she looked at her watch. She had five minutes to get this Goddamned stone.

Alexis fought back the gasp as the figure stepped out from the shadows into the moon light.

" You look like you've seen a ghost Lexie." the figure mocked and Alexis snarled. The figure laughed and held the stone out on a necklace. "You gonna stand there all night?" she spoke and Alexis began to shake with rage. Bobby made the shot and Alexis made the dive. She missed and just like that the figure was gone.

"Get you're demonic ass back here bitch!" she roared into the night. The figure appeared behind her and Alexis back heeled her only to find there was no stone. Sam looked up at the woods and saw her running.

"love you Dean, hold on for me yeah man?" he darted into the forest as Alexis took Dean into her arms. She kissed his head then his cheeks. Dean gazed up into her eyes.

"I--" he began but her Lips on his silenced him. He kissed back and wrapped his fingers in her hair. She lent her forehead on his.

"I love you." he croaked out and she smiled but not before the tears began to run down her cheeks. He wiped them away and she lowered her head to his and kissed him again.

"Love you too".

Sam caught up with her no problem. His large strides over powering her small steps. He lunged at her pulling her to the ground.

He would never hit a girl but she was no girl. Sam could tell. Alexis had told him she had killed her. Sam took the gun from his waist band and pushed it against her head and pulled the trigger.

He took the stone and got up. Firing seven more times he ran back to the cross roads to change Dean's future. Sam heard her scream. His pace quickened. He stopped at the edge of the forest and gasped.

She was on her knee's Dean's lifeless body strew across her lap. She hit his chest. Then hit it harder. Her body shook as she fisted his shirt into her trembling hands. Sam fell to his knee's beside his brother and his tears hit Dean's tanned forehead.

He dropped the stone to the ground and Bobby placed a hand on his shoulder. Dean was gone. And this was all his fault. Sam reached out and touched Dean's hand. "Protector. Brother. Hero" he whispered.

'_And I Have Failed You This Time.' _


End file.
